Any number of persons assemble in a room with the TV showing a news programme or news channel. The group should be mixed gender but it can be all one gender if you'd prefer it that way. A large quantity of alcoholic drink should be assembled (stolen or purchased) in advance - including beer, vodka, champagne, gin etc. Each person starts with a bottle or can of beer. Other drinks are served as necessary. Paying close attention to the news broadcast(s) follow the instructions below. If the news ends change channel and find some more news. The game ends when the last person cannot drink anymore or when there are no more news broadcasts to be watched whichever is the sooner.


for any mention of a royal family - all take one sip

for the death of any member of a royal family - all drink a whole can down in one

for the mention of a famine - all remove an item of clothing

*

for any mention of eco-disaster - girls drink a shot of tequila
(two shots for a nuclear spillage)

for a threatened strike or industrial action - boys take one drink

for an actual strike or industrial action - boys take two drinks

*

for a missing child or teenager - all take one drink

for a missing child or teenager confirmed as murdered - all take two drinks

for a missing child or teenager found safe and unharmed - all remove an item of clothing

*

for an ironic expression, quizzical look or raised eyebrow from the newsreader - boys remove their underpants

for a politician facing sexual scandal - girls remove their underpants

for a scientific breakthrough - all drink a shot of vodka

*

for the reformation of a legendary pop group or comeback from a solo star - one drink

for a stock market crash - everyone puts back on an item of clothing

*

for a report on extreme weather (heatwave, storms, blizzards, floods) - all take off an item off someone else's clothing

anytime the following acronyms are used; EEC, NAACP, BBC, NASA or MI5 - take three drinks

for a bombing, hijack, execution or other terrorist atrocity - everyone puts on an item of someone else's clothes

*

anytime a black person is mentioned outside the context of sports, entertainment, drugs or weapons offences - all drink a bottle of champagne

for an item on the spice girls or other supposedly nubile girl pop sensation - everybody masturbate

for an item in which the word history is mentioned - one minutes silence

*

for a celebrity divorce - girls kiss the boys

for a celebrity marriage - boys kiss the girls

for a satellite link up - one vodka

*

for any footage labeled as 'amateur video' - all drink a pernod

for any footage labeled as 'reconstruction' - all drink a pernod

for a mass grave - all drink two pernods

*

for a politician who reads a preprepared statement and then refuses to answer questions - boys show their arses

for a camera closing in on someone as they start to weep - two drinks

for a newsreader having trouble with the autocue - all drink a quarter bottle of gin

*

for a temporary problem with the sound - the girls kiss the girls

for a temporary problem with the picture - the boys kiss the boys

for a complete blackout or unexpected loss of pictures and sound - one minutes silence

*

for an item on car jacking, road rage or other traffic related criminal behavior - mix a margherita but don't drink it

for an item on green issues - drink the margherita

*

for a kid in a coma - one drink

for a kid coming out of a coma - two drinks

for a life support machine switched off - three drinks

for a nail bomb - black coffee

*

for an item on the origin of the universe - the boys go down on the person to their left

for an item on the death of the universe - the girls go down on the person to their right

*

for an interview or broadcast from a public place where bystanders are visible in the background

i) staring at the camera or looking curious - take one drink

ii) pulling faces or waving - take two drinks

iii) making abusive V signs - take three drinks

iv) exposing their arses - take four drinks

*

for any politician wearing glasses - one drink

for any politician wearing a tie - two drinks

*

for a map, animation or complex three-D graphic - three drinks

for a cat stuck up a tree - open a bottle of champagne

*

for tears at a press conference - two drinks

for a community spokesperson - two drinks

for a violent revolution anywhere in Europe - two drinks

*

for a newsreader that adopts a sick-making 'sensitive', grave or serious tone after a supposedly moving story - everyone silent for one minute

*

for a phone poll or crisis hotline - drink a gin and tonic

for any mention of GM foods - drink a gin and tonic

for footage of men or women in spacesuits - drink gin and tonic, take off an item of clothing and kiss the person to the left

*

for a pie chart - one drink

for a male celeb seen walking in a hail of paparazzi flashes - two drinks

for any instance of the words 'no comment' - drink a bottle down in one

*

for a churchman or churchwoman talking about morality - boys fuck the person to their left

for a politician talking about gays - girls suck off the person to their left

for an armed siege on a city housing estate/project - two cans of lager

for a newsreader that deploys an original as-yet-unheard of pronunciation of a 'foreign' name (of a person, a country, a political faction or other group) - three bottles of lager down in one|